Dave Wants to Hear YOUR Jokes!

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The interrupting sheep.
The interrupting...
Baa!

Submitted by Nicolette - Bradley, IL

Q: How do you make a Kleenex dance?
A: You put a little boogie in it!

Submitted by Katie, age 5 - Aurora, IL

What do you call a bommerang that doesn't come back?
A stick.

How do you stop a charging lion?
Take away his credit card.

What did the judge say when the skunk came into the courtroom?
Odor in the court!

What does Mickey Mouse's girlfriend wear?
Minnie skirts.

Who carries a basket, visits Grandma, and steals jewelry?
Little Red Robin Hood.

Knock, knock.  Who's there?  Consumption.   Consumption who?  Consumption be done about these jokes?

What's black and white and red on Christmas?
Rudolph the red nosed penguin.

What music do welders listen to?
Heavy metal.

Who's white, has two eyes made out of coal, and can't move fast?
Frosty the Slowman.

Why did the prizefighter like his new job?
He got to punch the time clock.

He/she was so dumb that...
...he tripped over a cordless phone.
...she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
...she told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK".
...he tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
...he sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
...she tried to drown a fish.
...she thought a quarterback was a refund.
...he got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
...if you gave her a penny for intelligence, you'd get change back.
...they had to burn the school down to get him out of third grade.
...under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics".
...he took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
...at the bottom of the application where it says "sign here" he put "Sagittarius".
...he asked for a price check at the dollar store.
...it takes him two hours to watch 60 Minutes.
...if she spoke her mind, she'd probably be speechless.
...she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.
...he sold the car for gas money.
...when he heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, he moved.
...when he took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" he turned around and went home.

Dave is always in the mood for a good joke.  Think you got a good one?  Send it to Dave and if it is funny enough, Dave will post it on his web site for everyone to read and chuckle at!

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What's your joke?


 

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